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All Night Naked Eyes

by Jason Kutchma

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1.
This old heavy feeling One we well know On the night we're together Before the morning I go Gone for days on end Gone for weeks at a time But I'm all yours tonight It's sleeting in Lansing Snow in Chicago Raining in Champaign But it's warm here in Valparaiso Though I'm traveling again My heart's always nearby And I'm all yours tonight I get to wondering Do I leave a part of me where I go? Will I return as I began When I left our home? Who I am, who am I? Always answered when I'm by your side I'm all yours
2.
I was stretched out on our bed I'm leaving you, the afternoon sun said My chest was feeling an empty hand Quick breaths up and down When did all the lights go out? I'm curled, it's so quiet I can almost hear the dark I'm not begging I'm long overdue To get some time with you Do you remember, not long ago, In a church parking lot, sharing our smoke? There's so little in this world I'll ever understand He said, "Give her whatever she wants" She said, "Don't ask for much" They'll come a time When you'll understand I'm not begging I'm long overdue To get some time with you
3.
They want to take my hands They want to take my arms Gonna put dimes on my eyes Then sell my farm I went so far off Some called it hiding Had to go get lost To find what used to define me Never knew a place Always felt I should be somewhere else Wasn't looking to be saved Just needed a little bit of help And you by my side Had our vision of heaven Caught that glance on Earth For awhile all worries lifted Stillness was in our hearts Never needed no jackpot Never had many joyless tears Always seemed a little bit better Than I was last year With you by my side They're gonna take my hands They're gonna take my arms Gonna put dimes on my eyes And sell my farm
4.
Front door opened to another morning rain Headlines lying in a pool of mud I want to head back to bed Wait out the weeks for the sun Needing you I look at my body It's not what it was I fought responsibility and I lost There's a look to my face A gaze to my eye I can't remember You remind me to try Come on and try Though my mind's not so quick to recall all we've done When you look at me, you make me feel so young We stay up all night doing nothing Only knowing what good doing nothing does For us sometimes Emptied, emptied, emptied Then full as we dream Are we fools to dream? We're not foolish While they make me feel the best I can be Has come and gone While they make me feel all future wars Have been waged and won They make me ask, has tomorrow passed? Is it already done? Then you look at me You make me feel so young
5.
Won't someone please turn this song off? Oh no no, keep it on, keep it on This theme for the finest of dreams For the finest of memories But they're behind a dark door with the saddest creak To see them now, I've got turn the blackest key Hope I never forget it Never forget that melody It was a Sunday's drive to the shore A song overhead in a convenience store We got a couple of beers for sunburnt shoulders She got a left arm tan Mine on the right Wanted to call in sick and stop for the night In a cheap motel Then the next day we'd switch sides Oh I can't stand it I turn the key and say goodbye I want to remember every eyelash, every wink Oh memory, you're so cruel memory Hope I never forget it, never forget that memory I know life ain't fair but it shouldn't cheat
6.
Heard it's been hard for you lately It hurts me deep inside To know you're alone, they've all gone home The ones you've always relied I may not always be on time But I've always been true I spent my whole life wandering But I'll always wander back to you I'm not the one that you want Not the one you aim to please May not be the one you love But I'm the one you need Been awhile since I've been around I hope you understand What I got ain't much But I'll give you all I can I got no change in my pockets No dollar bills in the bank My car's not much for pleasure driving But there's a little bit left in the tank I'm not the one that you want Not the one you aim to please May not be the one you love But I'm the one you need There's plenty out there faster They're so fast to tell you I'm slow I never thought it much mattered But what the hell do I know Except there's none now better None more that'll do you more right All I ask is you give me one chance To give you my best tonight I'm not the one that you want Not the one you aim to please May not be the one you love But I'm the one you need
7.
Head In Hand 03:35
Put your head in my hand Really let it rest Let me bear your shoulder And the weight of your neck Close your eyes Let the worry go Don't try to explain to me What I already know Make this empty space A home for you Head on my lap Looking down to the floor Don't think about it anymore Don't try and hear a call Or look for some meaning Take a moment from a world Too narrow for breathing Make this empty space A home for you With your head in my hand Thumb on your cheek You don't have to be weak or strong You don't have to be anything at all One deep breath Let it sooth you With your head in my hand Let me be of use Make this empty space A home for you
8.
Saw you, I can’t forget Green sweater, blue jeans ripped Left your number in my hand Gave me room in your bed Knocked silly, sideways and down You picked me up then turned me around Seemed a shame to waste your time on me All night naked eyes All the lights on you Engaged on an Interstate So many miles will have to wait Fading eyes, falling skies Sing with me, keep me awake You’re the one that I want You electrify All night naked eyes All the light on you You’re the one that I want You’re the one that I want
9.
How her mouth moves a little whenever she writes Or when she puts her fingers in her front pockets, casual-like Or shaking hands with every fabric in the department store I fell in love a little more The way she squints before turning out the lights Or the pictures where she seems to be saying to me, “Surprise!” Sometime I catch her singing on the other side of the door Then I fall in love a little more Didn’t look for better Didn’t look for better Could’ve looked for better When I shrunk her favorite sweater She comes in for a hug on her tippy toes Her head starts bobbing to Roy Orbison Thought by now maybe I’d’ve gotten bored But I fell and fell in love

about

They met in college. They played in an acoustic three-piece together, every Tuesday at a bar in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. It was a mix of covers and her originals. At the end of the gig, he helped load the equipment, taking it back to her dorm. He’d stay for a beer and a few smokes. They hung out till midnight. The next week, 1. 1 became 2. 2 became 3. 3 turned into a marriage proposal.

Last August, they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. They went out, had a time. They heard some locals play bluegrass, ate at their favorite restaurant then finished with a nightcap at their house. Halfway through the drink he surprised her with an album, a thanks for the quarter century they’ve had together.

He told her it’s hers. She can do with it what she wants. If she wants to keep it for herself, so be it. If she wants to give it to friends or family, okay. She smiled, took a sip of her wine, and stared to her horizon, “hmmmmm”. For awhile, it was hers alone.

Over the holidays, they had some devastating deaths in their families in Pennsylvania. They came back to Oregon drained. A new year happened. There were attempts at distraction but it felt, and in some ways will always feel, like one long suffer. Finding joy was difficult. There was strange guilt in doing so and when it is overcome there is still a still loneliness in the heart.

A few weeks ago, he asked her if he could tweak that anniversary album a little bit. She said yes. He asked her if she might want to release it to the world. She said yes.

“Valentine’s Day?”

“Perfect.”

Much of who he became is because of her. She was the one who encouraged him to sing in the first place. The one who paired lyrics to songs. Who figured out how they could get in the van and go. Who told him to keep going. Who told him to give it a rest. Who said don’t stop. The one who said yes. Much of who I am is because of her.

The album is called All Night Naked Eyes. It’s hers. Now it’s yours. Happy Valentine’s everyone.

credits

released February 14, 2024

by Jason Kutchma

Mixed by Brandon Collins

Mastered by Nicholas T. Petersen at Track and
Field Recording

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